Monday, March 28, 2005

Not Quite a Princess

As we do all this wedding-related crap (and by "we" I mean "mostly me doing the advance work and then C joins in when the choices have been narrowed and it's decision-making time"), we obviously have to deal with a lot of different vendors, people, whatever. Last Monday we had dinner with the photographer, someone whom C has known for 20 years. Friday we did rings (two places; trying to decide between them) and invites (had to shitcan the first one we picked out, because one of the papers involved is somewhere between here and Belgium and there's no telling when it'll get here, but the replacement is even better [though C still liked the other one better] and, bonus, cheaper). Saturday we finalized the cake--tasted two new ones, one of which we picked (orange poppyseed cake with vanilla bean and multiple-fruit fillings), and talked to the decorator about the design. Yesterday we went to his mom's for Easter (about 1.5 hours away) with her and C's sister and husband; C's sister, K, has already become a Universal Life Minister, in preparation for officiating at the ceremony.

At some point in nearly every one of these interactions, the vendor w/ whom we're dealing says to me, "Well, it seems that you're not a princess-type." When this happened on Saturday, I was trying to convince the cake decorator that I really did want her to use the colors/shapes/lines suggested by Maxfield Parrish's work to create something original, and that I didn't have a cake in my head that I secretly wanted her to replicate. The people with me generally laugh in agreement quite heartily when they hear that, as do I. No, I am not a princess. Or Cinderella. And I'm trying very hard not to be Bridezilla, though, really, I don't have it in me. I have not been planning my wedding since I was 10 years old, for one thing--I'd always thought there was a good chance that I wasn't ever getting married. I'm not 25. This is not going to be The Most Important Day Of My Life. I've never been very princessy. Okay, not princessy at all, if you want to know.

So there are two things. First, it's interesting to me how quickly the people w/ whom I'm dealing pick up on this. I do my best to be clear with them that I'm not a princess, not even secretly-inside, but they probably hear protestations like that often enough such that they have to figure out which ones are real and which are not. The look that slowly dawns on their faces is one of relief, followed, in some cases, at least, by excitement. Take the cake decorator, for example. I kept telling her, clearly, here are some ideas, and I can answer additional questions that will help you figure this out, but, really, this is YOUR area of expertise, and I'd love to see what you can do. And then they start to get into it, because we're not coming in and saying "it has to be exactly the way I've always dreamed it would be." Second, though, it makes me wonder just what these people deal with on a daily basis. And I shudder to think, because, really, that could be me dealing with the princess brides someday, given this pastry chef thing, and I so do not have the patience for it. I'll have to stop myself from telling people just how tacky and overdone their fantasies really are, and no one wants to hear that, I'm sure. It will be an adventure.


Blogger bitchphd said...

I had the same experience. Apparently just saying to someone "I'm paying you money so that I *don't* have to obsess over this" is really rare. Weird.

My favorite moment was with the florist, when I was explaining to her that no, my husband-to-be did not want to wear a flower, it just wasn't his thing. And she said, "but how will people know who the groom is?!"

Um, if they don't know, why are they at my wedding?

11:12 PM  

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