Sunday, October 02, 2005


Yes, well, so Friday we moved the last of our belongings out of the office space. Said belongings have presumably gone into storage with the moving company, as we do not yet have a signed lease on a new space. (B is taking care of my computer, for which I thank him, and I backed up a lot of files, including the ones that I might conceivably want.) Lest you think any of this was somehow a surprise--which, given that the LEASE WAS UP on Friday--I should add that the management company got an eviction notice for us about six months ago. They didn't evict us--obviously--but, for anyone who was paying attention, it might have served as a little heads-up warning, doncha think? But my anger is bounded today, mostly because I have very little energy. I didn't play handball yesterday so I could make apple pies with the Kid, I didn't go to yoga class today, and I'm almost completely without motivation. I'll work up some energy tomorrow morning for school--we're doing sugar showpieces, though I think Chef Bob is out with back surgery and Chef Fred will be filling in. Plus, even though my Phillies won, the Cubs couldn't manage to beat Houston, so the baseball season is over for me.

Today I bought a bunch of gluten-free stuff that I can use to do some recipe-testing, and I'm trying to commit myself to doing a lot of the legwork this week. Unfortunately, some of said legwork requires cash, and that's something that's dwindling around here. I'm supposedly getting my September 30 check by October 4th, but we'll see. Yes, it's difficult to get excited about anything--the only thing that keeps me going, oddly enough, is that I've been working my way through David Shipler's "The Working Poor," and, while it's so very depressing, it also reminds me that I'm not nearly as bad off as the whiny voice in my head would have it. Reading these litanies of woe remind me, too, about the thing that makes me crazy about the supposed compassion of the conservatives.

Their whole approach rests on the notion that, if one works hard and makes wise decisions, then one's virtue will be rewarded. Shipler shows two things: (1) how manifestly inaccurate that is, i.e., hard work and wise decisions can still be steamrollered by bad luck, and (2) how very small choices have enormous consequences. For those of us with middle-class lives, luck, parents, whatever, we can screw up once in awhile, make a bad decision (or just a decision that turns out badly, like spending money on graduate school, in my case), or have some bad luck, and there's some kind of cushion. It's not always a very big cushion, and sometimes some of us go through difficult times, but, in general, we're insulated. It definitely helps stem the tendencies toward self-pity (and gives me a rejoinder for the Kid when he's moaning about how terrible his life is).


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