Friday, December 02, 2005

Cross-Eyed and Painless

You may remember the chorus to the song by that name:
I’m still waiting...I’m still waiting...I’m still waiting...
I’m still waiting...I’m still waiting...I’m still waiting...
I’m still waiting...I’m still waiting...
I've tried staring at the phone, but it turns out that watched phones don't perform any better than do watched pots. Chef Bob said he'd shoot K an email and ask how things went (I dearly love Chef Bob, I must say). In lieu of actually writing a Friday Song post, I'll add that I quoted a large part of the lyrics to this song in my qualifying paper for grad school--the part about facts near the end of the song.

I'm kind of mad at myself today. Even my classmates noted that I was not my usual self, at least not by the end of the day. I attribute my crankiness in part to the aforementioned waiting: I hate it, as does everyone else, of course. I think that was only a small part of it, though. A second, much larger, part was the fact that we were doing chocolate showpieces today. I've mentioned before how I don't do well at them, though I suspect I'd get better with some practice. Today's was, indeed, somewhat better than the last attempt, although one of the things I wanted very much to do simply didn't work out, mostly because I didn't think it through and fucked it up. If I had thought about it for five more goddamned minutes and done it right, I could have executed the theme I wanted to execute, or, at least, come closer; as it was, I had to abandon it. I did execute the flower (everyone had to use a heart mold and include one flower, and my previous attempts at flowers were just heinously bad, so the fact that I did one today successfully was a huge improvement, and when I stop being such a baby, I'll be glad of that). A second issue with the sculptures was that I felt like I spent half the fucking day waiting for someone to finish with some piece of equipment I needed in order to do the next thing. Meanwhile, people weren't cleaning up after themselves, and that, in combination with the equipment-waiting, was just irritating. Third, several people in the class were getting on my last goddamned nerve. When school is over I'll tell you more about my classmates, but suffice it to say that there are a couple of people who annoy nearly everyone. (That aspect--that everyone agrees--is really interesting to me, on many levels, but the annoyance factor was paramount today.) It's also the case that there are several people who simply do not pull their weight when it comes to cleaning, and I'm just tired of that. Finally, though, it was frustrating to be working hard on something knowing that I'd be lucky if I managed to complete something that was even marginally competent, even as several people around me were executing much better, and much more complicated, pieces. I had to fight the "why bother?" impulse all day, and I had to fight my resentment about the aforementioned better pieces. Actually, I was most annoyed at myself for that resentment--it's a fucking chocolate sculpture, fer chrissakes; get over yourself!

And, may I say, I totally called the delay in the funding for my old job: The prospective investors have apparently decided, at this very late date, that they don't like the size of the company's debt load. I don't know what took them so long to reach that conclusion--it's not like the size of the debt has been a secret, and I feel like they've kind of been dealing with us in bad faith, given how far along the negotiations apparently had come. Nevertheless, the president has apparently been scrambling to come up with a Plan R (we're well past Plan B or Plan C), which is going about as well as you might imagine. My application for unemployment apparently also lit a fire, as she's now sent in a bunch of payments for back unemployment taxes and so on--which is all well and good, but doesn't uncomplicate the process all that much for me. I still have to shlep to a really shitty part of the city, on a fucking bus, and hope that she sent in what she said she did, and that they have it, and so on.

So, really, my mood isn't all that great today. A job offer, followed by several beers, would improve things significantly. Failing the former, however, I'll settle for the latter.

Update: I start my new job on January 3rd. And there was great rejoicing . . .


Blogger landismom said...

Congratulations! I'm glad that your ex-boss paid up her back-taxes, too.

3:09 PM  

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