Sunday, February 05, 2006

Football-Free Zone

Yeah, well, so I've fallen a little behind in providing you with a production list for the week, haven't I? I tell you what: I'll do it next week, and I'll actually keep notes at work. I'm keeping notes on the croissant production, too, because it's gradually moving into my hands (literally, I guess). Saturday we ran out of plain croissants by 10 am, and we had only two ham and cheese left by 10:30. I'm going to put together a little worksheet for the people in the front to fill out, so we can get a sense how many we're selling of which kind. Anyway, among the things I did this week were: crack 270 eggs (I cracked more than that in total, but the 270 was for one batch); make 25 more funeral cakes; make many dozen croissants; make and fill a half dozen chocolate mousse cakes, then cover the sides with this tootsie-roll-like substance made from chocolate and corn syrup, then put a fringe of that substance on the top of the cake; shaped a bunch of rolls; dipped rum balls in chocolate so someone else could roll the wet-chocolate-covered rum balls in chopped nuts or chocolate sprinkles; and set up a half-dozen cakes. I know there was more, but I tend to zone out.

We finished doing our taxes today (and by "we" I mean "I," in the sense that I did the calculations and Craw looked things over to make sure I didn't make any big mistakes). It was extremely strange to do it, and, of course, not strange at all. We need the refund to pay off the rest of the little debt we have (except my student loans, which will be a longer project), especially until we know what kind of job he's going to get and what kind of salary. I'm making more than we'd planned--I even got a couple of hours of overtime last week--and we're spending less on some things than we budgeted, and, hell, I even get a fifty-cents-an-hour raise in March, but we don't know what's going to happen so we're trying to be frugal-ish. He's supposed to hear by the end of this week whether he's getting an offer from the company w/ which he interviewed last week.

I keep trying to find some epiphany to share with you all, but, alas, nothing's forthcoming. I will say that it's an adventure being in this kind of relationship, i.e., this intimate committed thing. I'm not really accustomed to it, though, of course, I'm getting more practice. Just to give you an idea, I was 40 when I met Craw, and I hadn't been in a boyfriend-type relationship for fifteen years. I had (and have) many friends and lovers (sometimes combined in the same person, sometimes not), but the whole living-with-someone thing, nope. I sometimes think that's more difficult to get used to, even after all this time, than the open-relationship thing. The latter, well, once you realize that you're not particularly monogamous by nature, then it's a matter of how you're going to assimilate that knowledge about yourself into your life and your relationships. But the living-with (or, gasp, marrying) someone thing, well, that gets to a different place. It requires solving a different set of problems, I guess I mean to say, and, by virtue of the ways we interact, we end up displaying more of our good and bad selves than even many of our closest friends get to see.

But you guys probably know all this already; I'm just a little slower to get around to it than most people--which makes it more challenging and less challenging. It's less challenging, at least for me, because I'm reasonably comfortable with who I am. I have my less-lovely moments, of course, like everyone, but I'm kind of like Popeye: I yam what I yam. It's more challenging, though, because I'm not a kid. My parents will celebrate their 50th anniversary this year; they've not just grown old together, they grew up together. They've been through nearly their whole lives with each other. Me, I'm used to making my way more or less by myself. With lots of friends, mind you, and many people who love me and care for me, but Craw and I were already pretty much grown up when we met. What that means is that Craw has married a crotchety old pain in the ass, but he seems to enjoy it.


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