Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Tell Me a Story

Sometimes it seems perfectly normal, the right thing to do, the only rational choice. Other times, I'm overwhelmed by a sense of unreality. As I've said to several people recently, I've gone from "everything's (mostly, apparently) fine" to "we're splitting up" in four months, and it's a bit much and a bit fast. I mean, really, what the fuck? But it gets us out of the endless loop we were in, where we'd have the same conversation, over and over, usually with tears in there somewhere and no resolution with which both of us could live. Feh.

So Craw went and found a new place to live today--basically, a one-bedroom apartment in the building where he has his office/studio. They're going to let him move from the latter to the former, without penalty (though there will be some costs, like moving the phone and internet connections and so on), and they're going to add an additional deadbolt lock, and it has a new kitchen (with a dishwasher, no less), and the whole thing is much bigger, but not a whole lot more expensive, than the studio apartment, in which he kept contending he would live if necessary. Now I have to find a place to live. I'm looking at two places this Thursday, the one I mentioned below that will have a new kitchen and another one (or more) in a different neighborhood. Actually, Craw's joining me for the apartment look-see, and we'll then head to his new place, if he has the keys, so I can see it, and then to grocery shopping, and then back here to start dividing up our stuff.

I just wish I could come up with a way to talk about this, something that makes sense, but doesn't make one of us sound like an idiot or a bad person, because neither of us is either of those things. So how do two reasonably smart people make such a dumb mistake? Or maybe that's the wrong question.

But, right now, I have no clue what the right question is, and I'm tired and hungry, so I'm going to make some dinner and maybe watch some television (!), and then get some sleep. Maybe the right question will come to me in my dreams.


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